The Magical Mystery Tour
An Alternative Vacation Theory

by Ike Hill

Looking for an adventurous vacation alternative? Any idiot can call a travel agent and let them do all the work. Even online services like Expedia.com and Orbitz.com have vacation packages ready to go. But where? "Hotspots" everyone knows about? Retreats that are over-booked and over priced? No, thank you.

At KCDrinker, we believe you need a less conventional means of escape. A driving force so odd that it will literally take you places you never would have thought of going.

What You Need
First, you will need a reasonably trustworthy vehicle. Any car, truck, or van that could get you to a coast and back will work.

Second you need some free time. Will three days work? Sure, but the full brunt of this adventure trip will never get into full swing in only three days.You'll still have memories to try and forget for the rest of your life, but not the stomach flipping mental scarring that can await you with a week or more of throw-away time.

Next, you need a coin. I prefer an Italian 10,000 lira. Damn nice looking coins those Italians make. Not worth a crap, but sharp looking none the less!

And finally, you will need some cash, and probably a bottle of Febreeze.

What to Do
Now don't let the coin fool you, it's not for making decisions. All right, small ones, but we'll get to that shortly.

Find the nearest interstate highway. I-35? I-70? You know which one is closest to you. Now flip that coin to get started. Heads is east, tails is west, unless of course you are closer to I-35, then heads is south and tails is north.

Now drive. Simple eh? But wait, there's still a catch to this trip!

The All Knowing Road Master
It won't take long. One mile, ten miles, maybe even a hundred miles, and sooner or later you will find the Road Mage that will guide you to your first destination. He, or sometimes she, will be there on the side of the road waiting for you. It's magic like they knew you were looking for. . . . something. . . someone. . . some place. There they stand, signaling to only you. And don't expect to see the finger in the air that you usually get, this explorer and tracker will be flashing the international sign of all is well. That's right: a big thumbs up!

The rest is easy. Ask them where they are going, if it sounds interesting, let em' know that is exactly where you are headed. . . if they can help out with a little gas money. If they play the "I ain't got nothin' ta' barter wit" game, drive off. Besides you want to save that bottle of Febreeze for a sane travel companion's road stench!

Good luck and good voyages!

- www.KCDrinker.com - 2006 ©

Eisenhower ‘Ike’ Hill is a high altitude native of Colorado Springs, CO. After extensive blackouts, he now runs guns to fuel the Missouri Border Wars near Kansas City, MO.  He is fully credited for the theory of, "Complete a sentence, and take a shot of whiskey." In his spare time, which is a lot, he enjoys dressing as an (Irish) Catholic priest and hearing the confessions of hot chicks.