NINA from the Blarney Stone:
Bartender of the Moment
KCD: How long have you been bartending?
Nina: Six years.
KCD: At the Blarney Stone?
Nina: About two years.
KCD: You work Saturday afternoons here, tell us about some of the characters that
come in.
Nina: Well, there's the mask lady. She usually comes in wearing a medical mask
over her mouth.
KCD: Afraid of germs?
Nina: Well, I know she's missing her top teeth, so maybe that's why. The other
day, she came in wearing a little plastic Zorro-like eye mask, too. I thought maybe it was
to get into the Halloween spirit or something.
KCD: Um…it's November.
Nina: Yeah. Well, who knows? We've also got Carlos, who drinks two beers and gets
wasted. Of course, that's because he's on an oxygen tank. Which doesn't stop him from
smoking cigarettes. Trying to kick him out is hard, even though he probably weighs about
50 pounds, he holds onto the bar. I've had to push him out, shut the door and lock it.
Then he shuffles his tank down to the bar next door, and in about five minutes, he's back
and we start all over.
One time he had this, like, class ring on and I said "that's a cool ring,
where'd you get it?" And he says "oh, let me take it off for you," and he
sticks his finger in his mouth, like uhh, uhh, uhh, and slobbers all over the ring to get
it off then hands it to me. Gross! Then I noticed the ring said 1981. I said,
"where'd you get that ring, Carlos?" He says "I bought it from a guy on
Broadway."
I've had to wash my hands every time I throw him out, 'cause he's kind
of…filthy.
KCD: So what's the difference in clientele during the daytime vs. the night?
Nina: I don't really think there's much difference. I mean, it's Broadway, right?
We've got retards in the daytime and bad people at night.
KCD: Is that the official slogan for the Blarney Stone? "Retards in the
daytime, bad people at night?"
Nina: Yeah. Um, no.
KCD: Do you ever have to kick people out for hitting on you? You must get hit on pretty
bad sometimes.
Nina: Well, most of the people are so old that come in here, I can take 'em. I
mean, when you have customers that can't move so fast 'cause they're dragging an oxygen
tank, it's not all that scary.
I did get hit on recently at another bar, it's not related to Blarney Stone, but
it's kind of funny. I had to go to this wedding in Sedalia (audible groans around table),
'cause I was in the wedding party. So before I went, I went to this bar (in Kansas City)
and there's this guy sitting next to me with all these tattoos and I thought he was pretty
cute. We're talking and he says, "what are you doing right now?" and I tell him
I'm going to this wedding in Sedalia and he asks if I want company, so I'm like
"sure, come with me!"
I asked the bartender if he's OK, and she says, "Oh, yeah, he's OK." So
he and I go get a bunch of beer and were drinking beer on the way down there. I'm going
about 75 mph, and then I got pulled over.
They slap handcuffs on me and put me in the cop car, like they were actually going
to take me to jail for speeding. Then they run the name of the guy I'm with, and the cop
comes back and says, "How long have you known this guy?" and I'm like
"exactly the amount of time it takes to get from Kansas City to Sedalia."
The cop says, "You need to pick your friends better."
Long story short, they take the cuffs off me and slap them on him and take him
away instead and let me go. As he's cuffed and in the back of the cop car, he's like
"so…can I get your number?" And the cop just slammed the door in his face.
KCD: Nice! So you're originally from Kansas City?
Nina: Yes.
KCD: What's your least favorite drink to make?
Nina: Anything frozen or anything that requires a blender, 'cause we don't have
one 'cause we broke it and never got a new one.
KCD: Well, anyone who comes to the Blarney Stone and orders a frozen daiquiri
should probably be shot. What's your favorite drink to drink?
Nina: Let's see. Vodka and orange juice. Screwdriver.
KCD: What's the best tip you ever got?
Nina: Here? When I worked up north, I got some good ones. One time I got $100 and
a plane ticket to New Mexico. Here, maybe $50 is the best.
Faithful readers: If you haven't been to the Blarney
Stone, GO. Chuck's great (LaToya thinks he can do no wrong since he's originally from
south Jersey), and if you're lucky, Nina will tell you one of her stories, and make you
one of her specialties: draft beer.
