My evening with Chaser Plus begins...

Chaser Plus Hangover Helper: Fact or Fiction?
by LaToya Prater

I don't know about you, but I find those stupid commercials for Chaser Plus all over the radio to be deliciously funny.

"Jesus Christ, honey, you look like something a homeless person ingested and shat out on the street."

"F*ck off you ungrateful whore. You drank as much as I did, how come YOU don't look like hobo sh*t?"

"Because I took Chaser Plus somewhere between the Jager shots and the bottle of Montezuma tequila."

"Oh, I didn't. Darn it. And I have to be at work in an hour."

**hearty laughter, announcer voice**

"Just take Chaser Plus before you start drinking, and you'll have freedom from hangovers!"

I didn't believe it for a minute, but being your loyal servant on all things drinking, decided to try it just in case there really is some hangover-eliminating miracle hiding behind ingredients like cinchona, lobelia, nux vom, quercus gland sp, ranunc bulb, zincum met (I shit you not, these are all actually listed), which sound completely fictional to me.

First of all, you have to take two capsules with your first drink. Then you have to take two more every four to six drinks (see Fig. 3). That was hard. I go through four to six drinks about every half hour. Oh, and you're not supposed to exceed eight capsules. Right.

In the end, I did three rounds of capsules (total of six pills). I got customarily hammered (see Figs. 1, 2 and 4), and felt the same as always WHILE I was drinking.

The next morning was a totally different story. I came to (in my own bed, miracles never cease) cradling an empty beer bottle and a bright violet-colored Chuck E. Cheese paper cup. No idea where that came from.

The first thing I thought was that I had grown a giant inoperable brain tumor in the night, because the pain in my head was like nothing I've ever experienced. I generally don't get headaches with a hangover, but this one was a beauty. I couldn't even lift my head. I felt rotten. Oddly enough, my stomach felt great - not even a trace of nausea or digestive pain, which I almost always have after binge drinking.

Consensus: Chaser Plus tongues balls, except for preventing nausea. However, I would gladly have taken the nausea over that headache and the 12-hour coma I needed to become even halfway functional.

Fig. 1 WARNING: Chaser Plus will not keep you from letting strangers do body shots off you in (or on) the bar.

Fig. 2 WARNING: Chaser Plus will not keep you from hitting on everyone, nor will it keep you from repeatedly telling the story about the time you spotted Charles Nelson Reilly in the Sedalia Wal-Mart.

Fig. 3 Third round of capsules - down the hatch. See the manic glow in my eyes? That's CHASER PLUS, baby!

Fig. 4 WARNING: Chaser Plus will not stop you from doing the Robot, nor will it help you do it well.

- www.KCDrinker.com - 2005 ©

LaToya "GfV" Prater  is a free-lance drinker and writer. A native of New Jersey, she got hammered in Hoboken a few years back and woke up in Kansas City tied to the passenger seat of a '75 Pinto with Jim Nabors wearing nothing but a guitar. Now a resident of KC, Mo., Prater indulges her overwhelming addiction to editing other people’s copy to earn a paycheck and spends the rest of her time focusing on her three dearest passions: Alcohol, writing fiction and acting (Japanese balloon fetish porn).