Mother Nature's a Fine Piece of Ass When You're Looking through Beer
Goggles
KCDrinker discovers the drunken art of Hashing.
by LaToya Prater
"We've got to go hash with the Kansas City Hash House Harriers." Ike's
been tossing this cryptic demand my way for nearly a year. Oddly enough, this pastime
turned out to have little to do with smoking a lot of pot.
Hashers are a self-proclaimed "drinking club with a running problem."
However, those brave enough to combine the lazy art of chugging cheap beer with the noble
but undesirable art of exercising/communing with nature may just find an irresistibly
addictive hobby.
When we learned there was such a thing as hashing, and that drinking was a key
element, your faithful servants at KCDrinker wasted no time in taking the challenge (it
won't surprise any of you that LaToya took it a step further and completed her first
three-mile hash in high heels*).
Basically, you show up, pay a small fee, drink for a bit, take as much booze as
you can carry, follow the trail (could be urban, could be park-like, could be climbing
straight up a muddy slope with nothing to hold onto but the shorts of the hasher in front
of you), have a beer stop, continue the trail, possibly have another beer stop, finish the
trail, then sit around and drink for a few more hours while drunken hashers stand in a
circle and sing songs that quickly become less intelligible and more garbled as they
accuse each other of various and silly offences, chugging beer after beer as
"punishment."
There's a lot more to it, but you'll just have to go to a hash to learn more. If
you show up enough, you may even earn induction into this crowd of mobile drinkers, at
which time you have only just begun to scratch the surface of this bizarre and ritualistic
Ya Ya Drunkenhood.
Ike and I are completely hooked. For my money, there's nothing better than getting
drunk while endorphins run wild through my blood stream, pumping me up enough to think
it's a good idea to drink four or five times the amount of alcohol I normally would, while
sweating profusely, muddying my feet and pissing in the woods (and sometimes in my shoes).
WHAT A RUSH!
If you would like to learn more about the history of Hashing and the Kansas City
Hash House Harriers, visit http://kch3.kcdrinker.com.
*LaToya is a professional porn star (in rural Japan), and can do all sorts of
things in heels. This is NOT recommended for amateurs - for best results, always hash in
good running or walking shoes.
(Editors Note) For the record, and I won't dwell on this, but there are hashers
who are actually in it just for the exercise. Just like you don't have to
run (I rarely break a saunter), you don't have to drink either, and there
are people who don't. I do not understand this behavior, but hey - to each his (or her)
own.
