Fan Mail for Father Ike
A loving exchange between two like-minded priests

Yes, there are some great weirdoes out there. And one contacted me this winter. He is a local priest, like myself, but a little more perverted and insane than a Nazi Concentration camp commander. Please enjoy my correspondence with "Father Tim, the pedophile".

Date: Thu, 12 Jan 2006 20:48:47 -0800 (PST)
From: Father Tim <pedophile@yahoo.com>
Subject: I will cornhole your mom you evil shit.
To: likewereallygiveashit@kcdrinker.com

Listen you shit. I will cornhole your mom if you talk about Jesus like that. Jesus
loves me and I will rape your mother in the asshole if you talk bad about him again.
You can't imagine what a change accepting Jesus will make in your life. If you
can't believe that then you deserve to get strapped down and fucked in the ass just
like your whore mother you fuck. Believe me I can't stand non-believers and someday
in heaven I will line them all up with their pants down and plug my fat cock in
their asses. NecA743R248 transistor you shit.

Date: Wed, 1 Feb 2006 01:22:14 -0800 (PST)
From: ike@kcdrinker.com
Subject: I will cornhole your mom you evil shit.
To: Father Tim <pedophile@yahoo.com>

********************************************
This section Removed.
Personal information I researched on Good ol' Timmy.
Links to the many churches he's been asked to leave.
His fondness for the YOUNGER congregation, etc.
********************************************

As a priest myself I find your language almost insulting. It's obvious you
know this Jesus fellow, because he is a cornholing master. I'm sure he has
shown you his technique time and time again. In fact I've witnessed it
first hand as he showed "the way of the lord" to many a drunken vagrant
passed out behind the bars he frequents.

As for my Mom, I don't think I've ever mentioned that one of my many
nicknames is "Fuck My Mom". Funny eh'? Me and her just laugh about that
one over cocktails! Hysterical!

I also gladly await your presence in heaven (I like that you spell heaven
with the lower case too), I'm sure your fat cock will be over powering and
awesome, "Yeah Baby, Give me more. Do it right. . . .Excuse me Sir, are
you going to finish that?. . . Oh I'm sorry, Yes Ride me master. . . No
cause I'd love to finish it. I've always loved. . . Oh Sorry again, You're
a beast. Faster. Harder. Faster. . . . I'll talk to you later about the
éclair."

In other words, calm down Freakshow. Go make out with a 12 year old or
something.

Hugs and kisses,

Eisenhower 'IKE' Hill
www.KCDrinker.com
-. --- ... . -.-- / -... .- ... - .- .-. -..
P.S. See you in the great beyond soon Lover!

Date: Wed, 08 Mar 2006 20:41:28 -0800 (PST)
From: Father Tim <pedophile@yahoo.com>
Subject: RE: I will cornhole your mom you evil shit.
To: ike@kcdrinker.com

Yeah I bet you are a priest. High Priest of Satan you dick drinker. I have you on
my list for a good ass pounding in the afterlife devil-worshipper.

Yes .. so you found my identity. It's no secret. Why do you think I wear a robe
around the sheep. Animals need discpline too an when they are evil like you I
give them a good ass fucking. They are getting smarter so I have to wear the robe
to sneak up on them.

Just like I will sneak up on you if you are not careful and you continue to make a
mockery of the Lord Jesus Christ you son of the devil fuck. Repent now or I will
rape your mother while you watch you shit.

Forethoughts:
I was preparing to write more to Timmy, but the barrage of penis pictures he started to send was a turn off to say the least. At first I was quite concerned that these were penis pics of small boys, but I am now certain that my good old Friend Timmy is hung like a sparrow. Don't see much pounding getting done in the afterlife with that little pecker, buddy. Good luck, live long, and sorry about having to block your address from our severs.