America’s Pub
510 Westport Road Kansas City, Mo.
816-531-1313
I think I was stabbed here once. It’s all rather blurry. Looks just like a giant
racquetball court with disco balls and strobe lights. And people who want to stab you.
.B.
# A B C D E
F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
B B's Lawnside Bar-B-Que
1205 E 85th St Kansas City, Mo.
816-822-7427
The bucket of PBRs for less than it costs to feed a starving child in Uganda is what
got me to love the Pabst. Also, some of the best blues music in Kansas City, and excellent
BBQ, need we say more? P.S. Stop stealing all of the valuable merchandise on the walls!
It's historical merchandise, you bastards!
Balanca's
1809 Grand Boulevard, Kansas City, Mo.
816-474-6369
You will never know what you will find here, but transvestites, swingers and the
usual irregular people are a definite maybe. Great music in the lower bar, a.k.a.
"The Pyro Room."
Bar 12
1613 Swift Avenue, Kansas City, Mo.
816-221-5255
The "12" in the name refers to the number of karaoke songs you have to sing
to avoid getting your ass kicked. This place is fun, but definitely a karaoke bar
(favoring country music), and the singers take it quite seriously. Let's just say
"Salt 'N' Peppa's "Shoop" went over like a lead balloon, but the booze was
plentiful and so I went ahead and did "O.P.P." and "Bust A Move" too.
I've since been sanctioned from this bar.
Bar Natasha
1911 Main Kansas City, Mo.
816-472-5300
This is a classy joint that really shouldn't be pigeon-holed as a "gay
bar," although all lifestyle choices are present and welcome. If you're lucky, you
might meet some folks from Ron McGee's Late Night Theater crowd. The owner gave KCD a
gracious welcome and fed us all a free shot of…something blue. There is also art on
the walls. While all art is subjective, this stuff is actually very beautiful and worth
looking at. Expect jazz piano and cabaret singing (no thumping bass lines here). There's a
neat little shop next-door, great for getting your religious grandmother just the right
gift for her 90th birthday, or special party favors for the church Bingo crowd. LaToya
gives the martinis a big FABULOUS!
Barley's Brewhouse
11924 W. 119th St. Overland Park, Kan.
913-663-4099
Another of the K.C. Hopps locations, so you know the food is great (the Thai-Won-On pizza
hits the spot after you've done just that). Ninety-nine different taps, but I don't
believe they brew anything original. One of my favorite taverns with virtually no chance
of getting shanked in the alley. You'll often find an emo-acoustic act on the corner
stage.
Blarney Stone
3801 Broadway, Kansas City, Mo.
816-753-4949
Booze at last! Booze at last! Thank God almighty, they have booze at last! Under new
management (we all know how awful this place got after Pops died) the Blarney Stone is
once more a mecca of weirdoes, REAL darts and alcohol. Say "hi" to Chuck for us
- this bar is worth your time. It's especially good after eight on Thursday nights.
Blayneys of Westport
415 Westport Rd Kansas City, Mo.
816-561-3747
My flashlight beam wavered uncertainly as I descended into the dank depths of the
cave. The smell of earth and wild troglodytes wafted up in a breeze that caressed my skin
like the clammy hand of death. Then I ordered a beer and several shots, the band started
wailing some blues, and soon I was dancing the night away with an old black man named
"Scratch". He seemed very interested in my soul.
Blayney's Upstairs
415 Westport Rd Kansas City, Mo.
816-561-3747
At first, they called this O'Dicks, which I thought was really funny. Then they just
started calling it Blayney's Upstairs. There is a small bar area, small musician area and
you don't have to pay to hang out up here. In other words, it's the waiting room for
Blayney's downstairs (see above). It's dark and relaxed and comfortable…until someone
opens the bathroom door and the megawatt fluorescent lights pour out and flash burns every
inch of exposed skin. Bring your sunglasses and 45 SPF in case you have to pee.
The Blue Moose
4160 W. 71st St., Prairie Village, Kan.
For a large microbrewery focused on fun, the Blue Moose offers a surprisingly eclectic mix
of cuisines. For starters you can get wings, tenders, or nachos, or you can have hummus,
bruschetta, bisque, or one of several salads. The many home brews on tap include Moose
Drool Ale, blah blah blah. That's what THEY say. I couldn't see a foot in front of me.
Don't go on Thursday nights. Great beer deal, no room to even breathe. I ran screaming
from this place the second I walked in. "How long a wait for a table, sir?"
"Lady, you don't have that kind of time LEFT on your lifespan."
The Blue Room
1600 E 18th St. Kansas City, Mo.
I sure was blue after hanging out here. Known for its rich musical history, the Blue
Room is located in Kansas City's historic jazz section, blah blah blah, etc. etc. It was
like going to the fucking library. Here I am, a drink in one hand, great jazz playing
onstage, and I wanted to tap my foot and talk uproariously with my friends. But NO. The
posers at that place were all sitting stock still, pretending to absorb the art or
whatever those horn-rimmed frame wearing art gallery-going freaks do. I spoke out loud
once, and they tried to stone me. Good music, lame clientele.
Bobby Baker's Lounge
7418 Wornall, KC, Mo.
816-523-5485
There's a big, round booth that's so fun to sit in, you'll never want to leave, especially
after 12 shots of Jack Daniels. We met Bobby himself, and he's just splendid. Never a bad
bartender here, even though we don't know all their names. Yet. This is a very fun
neighborhood bar. It's like a hallway with chairs and friendly patrons.
Boomers Bar & Grill
7932 North Oak Trafficway, Kansas City, Mo.
816-436-7245
Up north? Like mullets? How about darts and plenty of Bush (beer)? If so, this is the
bar for you. Plus, it's just cool to say: "We're goin' to BOOMERS." Oh wait. It
really doesn't sound that cool when you say it. (Thanks to Eduardo Cienfuegos for the
info.!)
Boozefish Wine Bar
1511 Westport Rd., Kansas City, Mo.
816-561-5995
He's 44. You're 22. Sure, you'll sleep with him for a bottle of Don P.
The Bottleneck
737 New Hampshire St., Lawrence, Kan.
The best place in Lawrence to get drunk, splinters, and listen to bands that you will
not be able to afford to see live in a few more months. This is one of three
nationwide test beds for up and coming bands. Listen to them here, buy their CD shortly
after that, simple. They still get great headliners, and the price is always fair. Cheap
drinks, and drunk college girls, need I say more?
The Brick
1727 McGee St., Kansas City, Mo.
816-421-1634
Booze and live music, that's what you will find here. Just a comfortable bar, nothing
trendy, it's like a VFW hall with Rockabilly overtones.
Brooksider Bar & Grill
6330 Brookside Plz., Kansas City, Mo.
I had my first beer in Kansas City here. It used to be a great neighborhood bar with
table top Ms. Pacman in the scary nether regions downstairs. Then it got popular and
started playing Madonna remixes and it's just not the same. The downstairs is now reserved
for private parties, and…and…WHY GOD? WHY? IT WAS FINE THE WAY IT WAS. Newly
remodeled back deck with full bar is nice, though.
The Bulldog
1715 Main, Kansas City, Mo.
It's right next door to Bazooka's, but that's one of the few high points. Provided you
don't go on a weekend night, this is a perfectly nice bistro for an upscale meal. However,
if you want to drink, say on a Friday or Saturday night, hope you're in the mood to stand
(not enough bar seating) and be stared at by snooty old farts, eating dinner at 9 p.m.,
with too much money and time on their hands. Most of the wait and bar staff is pretty
cool, but a few are insufferable snots (especially some of the strippers doing double duty
next door).
Buzzard Beach
4110 Pennsylvania Avenue, Kansas City, Mo.
Only the best bar we've ever found...anywhere. $.75 draws until eight each weeknight
and sometimes on weekends - can't beat it. This is a good old place for anyone and
everyone. No telling who you'll meet, but if you keep coming back, you'll make the kind of
friends your mom warned you about. Thanks to Bernie, Chris, Dennis, Mark, Ed, Sam, Scotty
and Sarah - great bartenders, all. CASH ONLY.
.C.
# A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
The Cashew
2000 Grand Blvd., Kansas City, Mo.
816-221-5858
Oooh. At last. An over-priced snotty martini bar. KC just doesn't have enough. The Cashew
is the owners of the Peanut's idea of upper class. Skip it and go across the street to
Paddy O'Quigleys. However, if you're there for lunch, it's well worth it. The booze may be
overpriced and the Johnson County import customers a bore, but the food (especially lunch)
is great.
Charlie Hooper's Brookside Bar
12 W. 63rd, Kanas City, Mo.
816-361-8841
Tired of the frat party at the Brooksider? Well it's worse here. A nice, dark neighborhood
bar and grill with outdoor seating at which you can enjoy your choice of international
beers (they have, like, a hundred) and good appetizer specials at happy hour - but get
there early. It gets ridiculously packed.
The Claret Club
On Martway in Mission, Kan. (not too far from the Key Hole)
Older than your great great grandmother's chastity belt, The Claret Club has been hidden
in a Mission, Kan. strip mall for ages. It's bewitched to look much bigger on the inside
than out. It's got tons of pool tables, darts, food, and one of the best karaoke
selections I've ever seen (Wed. and Sat. nights only, I think). After I finished singing
then entire Chicago soundtrack (no idea why all 200 patrons left), I played some darts and
made a mental note to give this place a decent review.
Coopers' Bed and Breakfast
Raytown, Mo.
(Invitation only)
A name of occupation or trade, the name "Cooper" is also connected to
Cupar, a town in Fifeshire, Scotland, which is derived from Cu-pyre, "the enclosed
fire," or Co, meaning "high, a beacon fire, or signal on the coast for
ships." Except for the "high" part, this has absolutely nothing do to with
Coopers' B&B. What you CAN expect from this delightful getaway is at least two days
and one night of drunken debauchery, made more civilized by the beautiful décor and
landscaping, fancy towels and individual soaps in each bathroom, and great food. The home
commands a towering view of historic Harvard Street in Raytown, Mo. Alcohol is served from
noon until 2 a.m., and from 2:30 a.m. to noon. Food is served whenever guests look like
they're going to pass out from all the drinking. Reservations required (not open to the
public on the day of and the day following a KCH3
hash). For more information, call 1-888-BOOZE-UP.
The Corner Bar
200 E Kansas Ave, Liberty, Mo.
816-781-5298
This little hole-in-the wall is old, filthy and fun. Clientele range from an 88-year-old
man whose only way of still standing is support from the booze-hardened organs he carries
around to William Jewell college professors who have been driven to drink because they are
too smart for their own good. Friendly blue-collar crowd most nights. CASH ONLY.
.D.
# A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
D.B. Coopers
1804 W 39th Street, Kansas City, Mo.
Everything is cheap here, including 90 percent of the clientele. It is the only bar in KC
that closes at 3 a.m., and reopens 3 hours later. Sometimes you just need that Old Style
draft at the ass-crack of dawn. Props to barmistress Ginny - damn, that lady look GOOD.
Darkhorse
316 Westport Road, Kansas City, Mo.
Hopefully the trend of changing the name every year will not continue, and the Darkhorse
will reign supreme at this spot. We've all witnessed change after change, but now it looks
like we might have a bar with staying power. Check em' out and enjoy the somewhat limited,
but very effective drinking specials. Ahhhh POWER HOUR!!!
Dave's Stagecoach Inn
316 Westport Road, Kansas City, Mo.
816-561-2492
Decent specials on draft beer, including Boulevard, and they serve Schlitz in a can.
The jukebox is fantastic, but the employees can be a little moody if they start seeing
your face around too much. Just for the record, they never actually use the word
"sanctioned". CASH ONLY.
Davey's Uptown
3402 Main Street, Kansas City, Mo.
One of the best non-drinking stoner bartenders resides here. Tons of live local music, and
reasonable drink prices. I am still in shock over the back bar remodel, it was such a
dirty little corner of faded memories. But…moving on….
Denim and Diamonds
1725 Swift, Kansas City, Mo.
816-221-7330
A clean, enormous room straight out of a line-dancing T.V. show. No table service, and
only domesticus genericus on tap. An all-ages crowd where you just might run into your
parents dressed in their weekend westernwear best. Last visit, I spotted no fewer than 12
guys cultivating the Tim Mc Graw look. Pose for a pic in their "jail," or simply
try driving home for a more real experience with North Kansas City's Finest. Best to stay
away if you can't dance, and if you wallflower too long, it's guaranteed someone else will
ask to two-step with your date, standard practice. Not many singles here. (special thanks
to "g")
Texas Tom's
Downing's Grill and Sports Bar
Jayhawkers
3916 Rainbow, Kansas City, Kan.
816-531-9004
Just across the street from KU Med Center, this used to be a Texas Tom's, but then it was
Downing's, and now it's a KU bar. After Downings, I have still refused to go check this
place out. Which is sad. I can walk there from home, but I'd rather risk the DUI. Oh, um,
there's a really cheap lunch buffet, if you like such things.
Drafters
323 W. 8th, Kansas City, Mo.
816-472-4001
Just across the street from The Phoenix blues bar downtown, Drafters is a pretty nice bar
with plenty of room, and, of course, a Golden Tee, a pool table and a dart board
(electronic, not real). It's not usually very crowded, and has a typical bar menu. In
fact, we've dubbed this "Everybar" because it's just…so…typical.
.E.
# A B C D E
F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
The Empire Room
334 E. 31st St., Kansas City, Mo.
816-561-2640
It's dark, baby. Darth Vader and Marilyn Manson are in the corner talking about the
Princess Diaries II, while a DJ in horn rims and a Dead Kennedy's t-shirt plays The Best
of Falco. Trendy and hip, the Empire Room is still a lot of fun. Newly remodeled, the back
room is great and can be "borrowed" for various events, like geeky theatre
people doing script readings and stuff.
.F.
# A B C D E F G H I
J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Felix Street Pub
516 Felix Street, Saint Joseph, Mo.
816-364-2775
All right, we understand that going to St. Joe for a good bender is like moving to
Alaska for a half ounce of kind bud. But the damn fine weirdoes at Felix Street made an
offer we just couldn't refuse. They drink good up north, and kept pouring until we
screamed, "Alright maybe just one more!" If you are feeling adventurous, give
em' a try.
The Fieldhouse
9617 Santa Fe Drive (next to the Johnson County Library)
Definitely a sports bar, the Fieldhouse has lots of "regulars" and doesn't
discriminate, old, young, one leg or two (or three) all are welcome. Great wait and bar
staff, and an amateur poker league on Thursday nights. It's also got pool and darts - what
more do you want? (Special thanks to Asher)
Fiesta Azteca
7534 Ratown Road, Raytown, Mo.
816-737-0772
Not a bar per se, but a great place for some authentic Mexican food and the most kick-ass
margaritas in town. And by kick ass, I mean these delicious concoctions sneak up behind
you, tap you politely on the shoulder, then belt you flat on your ass with the fastest,
wickedest drunk you'll ever experience. Now, doesn't that sound fun?? If you can brave the
wilds of Raytown (not that you would do so on purpose), visit our friends at Azteca.
Forsters Bar and Grill
920 E. Old 56 Hwy, Olathe, Kan.
913-764-8500
If you are looking for something a little upscale, truly unique and great for
mingling… this is not the bar for you. Rather, it's a typical sports bar - darts,
pool, poker nights. Bar food (pretty good hot wings) and beers for just a dollar on
certain nights, which is probably the best thing they have going. Most of the regulars
look related in some way or another, and many haven't invested in quality dental care.
Fox and Hound
19210 E 39th St S, Independence, Mo.
816-795-5744
The thrill of the hunt is not going to be enough, so bring your wallet and be prepared to
ply your prey with booze if you want to take home your limit. An immaculate, classy joint
heavy on wood and brass. Best pool tables south of the river, and they're free during
lunch. Music videos play nonstop. It's a guilty pleasure, as long as your midtown friends
don't spot you here. (special thanks to "g")
Funky Town
8300 East Blue Parkway Kansas City, Mo.
816-737-3865
I think they mean Funky Patrons! If “funky” can also mean “toothless,”
“backwoods,” or wearing parachute pants and sleeveless T-shirts. Still a fun
club though, plenty of entertainment on (and off) the dance floor. If you get weirded out,
just keep drinking. It all starts to look better after the fifth pitcher of beer. You
might even find the courage to cut a rug to “Karma Chameleon.”
.G.
# A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Gilhouly's
1721 W 39th Street, Kansas City, Mo.
Again, I've never purchased my own beverages here, but it definitely deserves honorable
mention. This place is loaded with mostly ex-strippers for bartenders, and how can you go
wrong with an Italian-owned Irish Pub? Just kidding Joe, don't send the knee-capper.
Gossip Inn
2418 Park Dr Kansas City, Kan.
913-281-3322
This bar has been here since, like, 1937. Ike's grandfather drank at this bar, and so
does Ike. That makes it cool. Once you learn the difference between Lori and Laura, you're
a regular, baby. You should go. You should. CASH ONLY.
The Granfalloon Bar & Grill
608 Ward Parkway Kansas City, Mo.
Plaza bar. The less said, the better. Nice place, awful people.
Grand Emporium
3832 Main St., KC, Mo.
816-561-2560
We're not big fans of the expensive martini bars, but the renovation they've done on this
place is staggering. It really shouldn't be called "Grand Emporium" anymore
because it's now an unrecognizable trendy-looking place with a wall of nearly 400 liquors
that will blow your mind, some of which were illegally obtained from other galaxies. The
music stage has been left exactly the same, and live music is still featured nightly.
However, what with the always-present cover charge, the price of drinks and the snotty
personnel, this is a costly venture. Anyway, why would anyone mess with the GE? It was
perfect the way it was.
Grand Street Café
4740 Grand Ave., Kansas City, Mo.
816-561-8000
My vote for best martini in Kansas City goes to the Grand Street Café First of all, you
get a LOT of martini. Second, they make it the way you tell them. Third, they use chilled
stainless steel martini glasses. Frostburn, baby!
.H.
# A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Harling's
3941 Main Street A, Kansas City, Mo.
Let's face it, it's a damn Frat bar for UMKC, but it also has the cheapest shots and brand
name beer in KC. It's a beautiful old-looking bar and it's dark enough you can't see just
how filthy it is. If Chris is working, you're guaranteed a good time. Or, just bring along
your own party. A true St. Patrick's Day standard, and every night brings some of the
strangest, "funnest" drink-tasting experiences Kansas City.
Harpo's
4109 Pennsylvania Avenue, Kansas City, Mo.
20 beers for $5 on Tuesday nights. Sure, it's piss, but it gets you there. A good bar for
watching the game or playing with the high-tech jukebox. Typical bar & grill menu on
hand, too.
Harry's Bar and Tables
501 Westport Road, Kansas City, Mo.
It would be unfair of me not to mention this place, since I seem to pop in and out a lot.
It ain't cheap, but the atmosphere is cool, and the bartenders and wait staff really make
an effort to get to know their customers and make you feel welcome. Also, they sell a
variety of good smokes and cigars.
Harry's Country Club
112 Missouri Ave, Kansas City, Mo.
816-421-3357
Not to be confused with Harry's Bar and Tables in Westport, this is nothing like the
country clubs I went to as a child, where the women smoked Benson & Hedges and the men
golfed and did their best to ignore their wrinkled up wives. Still, it's a damn nice bar
with great food. Comfortable atmosphere, great artwork and nice music, often of the Rat
Pack variety. The bathrooms, however, are insanely freezing, so be ready when those pants
come down or skirts come up. Brrr!
KCDrinker Exclusive: Degenerate Bars in Bad Neighborhoods
by special slum correspondents Brock & Lumpy*
Helen's
Across the street from A.J.'s is another beauty named Helen's. Helen's is populated by
ghastly old former bar sluts. The sad thing is, no one told them they turned 60+ and are
fangled. Once again, this place is definitely a value for the budget-conscious. This place
smells like hell and the bathrooms are just about unbearable. I equate the smell to a pile
of dead goats in the swamp. In summer. Damp, hot, garbage strike summer.
Hooters
Coming soon to a strip mall near you. If you're a forty-plus male with
random bills of demoninations over twenty falling out of your pockets, welcome aboard you
sexy beast. If not, enjoy the dry but cheap chicken and average sized, if even that,
breasts. Boobies are great for distracting you from things like personality, overpriced
pitchers, gaudy flair and any real menu to speak of. But say what you will, the wings
still kick ass. The Overland Park location is the best of the three, and come in the
evening if you wanna see their A-game. For the most faux-flirt time, sit at the bar, and
it helps to pretend you're a producer or a photographer. How's the beer? It's
did-you-see-that-ass-alicious. (special thanks to "g" for paragraph
two)
The Hurricane
4048 Broadway Kansas City, Mo.
After I got stabbed at America's Pub, I was shot here. Then they closed. Then they
opened again and I couldn't tell any difference. Known primarily for live music and
featuring fast and loud local musicians, this place is fine and dandy if you get away
before midnight or so. That's usually when the shooting starts. They sell booze and cola,
but everybody knows most of the coke is in the bathrooms.
.I.
# A B C D E F G H I
J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Imperiale's
4100 Independence Avenue, Kansas City, Mo.
816-241-3316
While this sounds like it could be a good Mexican restaurant/bar, it's really about
as divey as it gets. It's situated on the stroll (aka Independence Avenue) and features a
beer garden which happens to be cordoned off with a giant stockade fence topped with razor
wire. No shit. (write-up courtesy of Eduardo C.)
.J.
# A B C D E F G H I J K L M
N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
JJ's Other Place
5436 Johnson Dr Mission, Kan.
913-722-9777
The bartender had beer stains down the front of his shirt. Soccer moms come here to
slum it and get away from their brats for awhile. Ike's dad or uncle or someone drank
here, so that makes it cool. We likey. It's got plenty of dart boards and the bathroom
smelled nice.
Jimmy's Jigger
1823 W. 39th Street, Kansas City, Mo.
816-531-5556
(AKA, the waiting room for Jazz) Jimmy's is the second smallest and absolute dirtiest
bar in KC - it's attached to Jazz Louisiana Kitchen (Kansas City's gateway to the
malaria-filled Bayou) and is designed for one person at a time to have a drink while
waiting for their table at Jazz. We're still waiting on the drink we ordered there back in
2003. "Pretty dismal" sums it up.
John's
Big Deck
9th & Wyandotte, Kansas City, Mo.
This place rocks during the summer and is within staggering distanced of two famous KC
restaurants, the Majestic Steakhouse and the Savoy. A really odd mix of people ends up at
this place. Johnson County girls sitting at the first floor bar next to 100-year-old
locals, hip-hop techno dance music with attendant freaks on the second floor next to
rednecks finishing their pool league. The top floor is reserved for power drinkers who can
mountain climb. Although it is fun to see the aforementioned JoCo socialites climb them in
skirts and fall down them at last call. (Special thanks to Dave the Freak)
Johnny's Tavern
6765 West 119th Street Overland Park, Kan.
913-451-4542
The closest thing south Overland Park has to a neighborhood dive. This place is average in
every way, and is a nice change from its snooty neighbors, patrons included. Watch all the
Sprint employees tuck their I.D.s into their pockets as they enter. (special
thanks to "g")
Johnny's Tavern - SHAWNEE
13410 W 62nd Terr., Shawnee, Kan.
913-962-5777
I slouched through the door into the dingy gray light. It was a typical dirty bar and
grill, but not really that dirty 'cause it was in Shawnee. I ordered my usual pitcher of
whiskey and sat at the bar to watch the ball game. A fat hooker lolled three chairs down
on my right, just waiting for me to catch her eye. A few shady looking thugs played poker
at a smoky table to my left. The sounds of children playing and laughing came from down
near the pool ta…wait. What!? Kids? Families? What the f*ck is this, Chuck E. Cheese?
Reality sets in. Although it has the potential to be a good dive with decent food,
Johnny's is one step away from Applebees. If you like other people's brats having the run
of the place late into the night, you'll love it!
Just Another Dive
2002 Armour Road, Kansas City, Mo.
816-471-8715
Oh, man, and they aren't kidding. A complete dump, this place called to me from the
highway as I drove home from my north KC job. When I went in, there was the proverbial fat
lady, bearded lady and I grew dizzy watching the bartender "clean" a glass for
my beer, which was actually him wiping it with a rag so filthy the glass actually became
opaque. However, there's a little outdoor area. And sitting outside seems to make it all
OK.
.K.
# A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Karma
Westport Road, across from Buzzard Beach
Hopefully, you don't believe in it. Because you will be tortured for years if you go
here. In the heart of Westport and sucking all that's good right out of it, Karma is a
pseudo-trendy nightmare taking up space until Johnny Dare gets approved for his next loan.
Bon Jovi videos, anyone? I'd love to expound on the specials, but I didn't come across
any.
Kelly's
500 Westport Road, Kansas City, Mo.
If you're looking for an archaeological dig in Kansas City, this is the place to find some
really cool dinosaurs. All the stanchions of ancient Westport are still alive and drinking
here. Makes for a great neighborhood crowd in the daytime, but it's still a hip place on
Friday and Saturday nights. You can get Boulevard cheap, and they have Ms. Pac Man and a
pizza place inside. Not to mention, Mark is the nicest damn bartender EVER.
Kennedy's
7428 Washington Kansas City, Mo.
816-361-9788
WHOOPS. It burned down not too long ago. Now they've got a "temp" location
open next to the lot under construction where, supposedly, a newer and grander version of
this will be built. The temp bar kind of sucks. I wonder what island that last owner is on
right now? And how big a yacht was he able to afford with the insurance money? The world
may never know, but until they build a kinder, gentler Kennedy's, we can't really recommed
this as much of a fun spot.
The Keyhole
5902 Woodson Road, Mission, Kan.
913-262-9881
You'd never find it if someone didn't drag you there, but once you've been, this little
dive is easy to make a regular habit. Look for Courtney, the hot, fast-talking blonde
bartender. She's unstoppable. Extremely drunk attractive females are also common (no pun
intended).
The Kickstand
2847 Roe Lane, Kansas City, Kan.
913-236-5425
Drive by number 1. . . "Maybe not tonight."
Drive by number 2. . . . "I don't know. Kind of scary?! Where're Brock and Lumpy
when you need them?"
Drive by #3 What the HELL - we're going in!"
This is by far the greatest new dive bar in KC, second only to our home away from
home, Buzzard Beach. Sure it's hidden location and obvious biker theme make it an obvious
location for run-of-the-mill Johnson Countians to avoid, so it's perfect for the rest of
us. It's like finding the failed yet still secret midwest chapter of drug-addled Skull and
Bones members hiding out in a well-stocked grotto under the Board of Trade in KC. This
little surprise is stashed conviently away and is going to be the next big thing for
middle- to low-income trendy alcoholics! The Bon Jovi/Poison/Winger medleys fresh from the
DJ rock!
Knucklehead's
2719 Rochester St., Kansas City, Mo.
816-483-1456
Even with an advanced military GPS device, finding this place among the warehouses
and train tracks is damn near impossible. But when you get there, it's like you just
stepped into the movie "Cry Baby" (at least, on Rockabilly Wednesday nights,
when the Rumblejets play). Swing dancing, white trash and an extraordinary outside area
make this bar a blast. Warning: drink prices suck...you can drink at the most uptight
Plaza bar for about what it costs here. Overall a good time, if you have plenty of cash to
throw around on expensive cheap beer.
.L.
# A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
The Landing
1187 W State Route 152 (B), Liberty, Mo.
816-792-5230
Shoot some pool, shoot some Jack Daniels, play the jukebox. Nice patio outside in nice
weather, and a pretty friendly crowd. Cheap pitchers at certain times. It must be a good
place, because I've gotten loaded here…loads…of times.
The Lava Room
3810 Broadway, KC, Mo.
816-561-5282
If you are old enough to remember the 70s, and you remember your 28-year-old neighbor
who still lived in his parents' basement and spent his whole paycheck making the
"pad" look "really boss," then you have a good idea what this place
looks like. Not a bad niche for enjoying an Old Crow and Coke or a game of pool
or just staring shit-stoned at the lava lamps. The real crowd doesn't show up until about
10:30 p.m. or later.
Lew's Bar & Grill
7539 Wornall Rd
(816) 444-8080
Another fine Waldo bar, Lew's is typical in every way - narrow, dark, full of booze
and serving typical bar food. The crowd is usually pretty mellow and it's a nice time if
you're in the area.
The Levee
16 W 43rd St Kansas City, Mo.
Go upstairs. Drink. Drink more. One more. Now, go downstairs and get your groove
thing on. You'll think you're a God/Goddess. Everyone else will just think you're drunk.
It was fun when Nycki Pace from e105 hung out here on ladies' night (Wednesdays). Maybe
she'll come back soon. All in all a good time, but beware weekends. It gets crowded, crazy
and fights break out. Especially when YOU are out there getting your groove thing on.
Beautiful outside deck seating behind the upstairs bar.
Lucky Brewgrille
5401 Johnson Dr Mission, Kan.
913-403-8571
Kansas City version of K-State's top frat house bar. I know because I used to
frequent the Manhattan location nightly. (write-up courtesy of Eduardo C.)
.M.
# A B C D E F G H I J K L M
N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
McCormick and Schmick
448 W. 47th, Kansas City, Mo.
816-531-6800
Yes, it's a swanky seafood restaurant, but it has a surprisingly affordable happy hour
featuring a $1.95 menu to accompany hand-shaken cocktails or a selection from an extensive
list of premium wines and beer. Warning: The bar area is mobbed during happy hour with
"good old boy" clubs. The good news is these old guys can drink. The bad news is
the conversation is really boring and you might get your ass pinched. For dinner or lunch,
you won't find better seafood in Kansas City.
McCoy's Public House
& Brewkitchen
4057 Pennsylvania Avenue, Kansas City, Mo.
816-960-0866
Conveniently located in the Mecca of the Kansas City bar scene, McCoy's has excellent
food and exceptionally well brewed beers.
Mickey's Irish Pub
9720 Quivira, Lenexa, Kan,
For having to put up with a bunch of people that look like (and have the mental capacity
of) Barbie and Ken, this place wasn't half bad. We had a birthday party there, got
trashed, and threw peanuts all over the place, and they not only didn't kick us out, they
gave us a good deal on the total bill. There's semi-outdoor pool tables and seating,
indoor DJ (most memorable for the excellent alternative music played all night), and a
full menu of food that's only safe to eat if you have very low blood pressure, no
cholesterol whatsoever and an excellent tolerance for MSG and other hardcore salt
additives.
Mike Kelly's Westsider
1515 Westport Rd, Kansas City, Mo.
816-931-9417
It used to be Kiki's Bon Ton, so I'm told. Anyway, it's now a regular neighborhood
bar for all the freaks and geeks that live on the blocks off Westport Road. Thursday
nights are the big night here, with live music and people that don't want to talk to you.
Mike's Tavern
5424 Troost, Kansas City, Mo.
816-444-3399
UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT! It's been painted and is slightly more cheerful than the Darth
Vader's Basement it used to be. New food menu and live music/DJs on a much roomier stage.
Other than that, it's a bar: booze, food, and games, you just can't beat that. Monday
nights are KCDrinker appreciation night. Mention KCDrinker.com at the door, and you won't
get punched in the face!
Missie B's
805 W. 39th St., Kansas City, Mo.
816-561-0625
As the gay dance club scene goes, this one's the best. Great entertainment on (and
off) stage. Strategically-placed dance floors let you know "you can if you want, but
you don't have to." As a straight white girl with one too many vodka gimlets in me, I
was repeatedly ushered OFF the queen stage in between acts, but then I caught on and began
stuffing dollars in the performers' pants. They like that, and will allow you to remain on
stage making an ass of yourself for up to five whole minutes!
Orlando's
Mustang Sally's Bar and Grill
126 S. Clairborne Ave., Olathe, Kan.
913-393-2182
Orlando's was Mustang Sally's. The name has changed many times, but it's the same game --
an America's Pub north wannabe. Take a hip club with a model-hot wait staff, and populate
it with Gladstoners. Hockey hair, dance-floor loiterers, cowboys and corn-fed femme-tribes
are aplenty, and pole dancing is encouraged. Great people-watching if you're an urban
trendster, plus you'll be immediately tempted by domestic longnecks from the porn starlet
just inside the door. (special thanks to "g")
.N.
# A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q
R S T U V W X Y Z
Nara
1617 Main Street, Kansas City, Mo.
Normally we wouldn't review this because it's primarily an upscale Japanese restaurant,
but as it turns out, they have a cool bar area with live DJs (not those pesky dead ones).
After 10 is reverse happy hour with great deals on appetizers and booze (including
martinis). Best night is Monday with DJ Brad.
The Newsroom
3740 Broadway, Kansas City, Mo.
This is a bar. You know, with stools, some beer, a little liquor, and an old newspaper
theme. It's very quiet. Not much happens around Kenny's. Perfect for that church group
meeting or family outing with the kids. In fact, it's a lot like Chuck E. Cheese's, but
without all the colors, toys and fun activities.
Nick and Jake's
6325 Lewis St. Suite. 110, Parkville, Mo.
816-584-8535
If you don't like golf, go elsewhere. This is a 20th-hole crowd straight from the nearby
country club. It's pricey brews over corporate chatter with upside-down visor boys. Bar
and restaurant are separate, and reminded me of Jeremiah Johnson's in the northland.
(special thanks to "g")
Club NV
7th & McGee, Kansas City, Mo.
This new hip downtown night spot is everything a club should be - dark, full of
annoying strobes and disco lights and that fake dry ice smoke everywhere. Unique aspects
include the video bar, which is exactly what it sounds like: TVs everywhere playing music
videos. Not exciting. Front bar is non-smoking, back bar is smoking, and they're toally
separate rooms, which offers a nice option for either persuasion.
.O.
# A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
O'Dowd's Little Dublin
4742 Pennsylvania Ave Kansas City, Mo.
816-561-2700
Step in here and you are in Ireland! Great atmosphere, a truly inspiring location in
which to drink. Incredible authentic Irish food to help sober you up later (except they
took away the beef crostini. Why? WHY??).
O'Dowd's - Revenge
of Zona Rosa
8600 NW Prarie Drive Kansas City, Mo.
816-561-2700
Step in here and you are NOT in Ireland. You are in Zona Rosa, a mega-vanilla shopping complex in the northland.
This O'Dowd's just doesn't have the same character as the PlaZa location.
.P.
# A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Paddy O'Quigley's
11851 Roe Ave., Leawood, Kan.
A frattish college bar for the Leawood privileged -- annoying or righteous, depending on
your personal B.A.C. and tolerance for squealing sorority hordes (much like your attitude
toward karaoke). Make this your last stop and you'll have a much better time. It's one big
open room with table space at a premium, but a good selection on tap. Johnny O'Quigley's
in the northland is a better overall bet, but it's too far for your drunk ass to drive at
this point. (special thanks to "g")
Paddy
O'Quigley's (Crossroads area)
100 E. 20th St. Kansas City, Mo.
(816) 842-0400
This giant new version of the old favorite is located right around 20th & Grand in the
Crossroads area is pretty awesome - giant tapable beer towers are available for purchase
and when you have one on your table you and your friends look super cool. Warning: the
food is not so great here, but who goes to an Irish pub to eat??
Paul & Jacks Bar & Grill
18th & Clay, North Kansas City, Mo.
Ms. Tara likes it. And anyone that goes by "Ms." something or other must be from
the south. So we guess it's got "a" pool table and probably a Golden Tee. And
plenty of domestic drafts.
The Peanut
5000 Main Street, Kansas City, Mo.
Someone else has always bought my drinks here, so yeah, I guess it's cheap. The Saturday
night crowd is usually a blast, and they have 1950s nudie ads for Coke and stuff on the
walls. You have to try the Rueben sandwiches here, let the drool fest begin!
Peanut Downtown
418 W 9th St, Kansas City, Mo.
Dirty and dank, with the best damn reubens, again. This crowd is eclectic covering the
scene from overly paid white-collar preppy stuck-in-the-80s people to homeless guys
cashing in their daily collected change for a Hamms. Or PBR. Or Schlitz.
The Peanut III - Revenge of Johnson County
Shawnee, Kan. (on Shawnee Mission Parkway)
It's the Peanut, except kind of lame. For some strange reason, the Reubens suck here. They
keep wanting to give me sound financial advice. Fortunately, they leave me alone once I
start singing karaoke. "Sweeet Caroline (bom, bom, bom)..."
The Point
917 W. 44th Kansas City, Mo.
"Once upon a time there was a little bar that just couldn't find its identity."
It started as the Point, a delightfully dirty dive that reeked of cue chalk, booze and
fun. Then it got fancy and became the over-priced and under-talented "New Pointe
Grill," and aside from the internal face-lift, it more or less sucked. Now it's gone
back to the "Point," a somewhat fancy-looking bar/pool hall. It is currently
seeking therapy (and so are its original patrons) for identity issues. Still, if you want
a clean place you can drink, play pool and get a decent bite to eat, not a bad choice. The
condensed but diverse menu has something for everyone at reasonable prices.
.Q.
# A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q
R S T U V W X Y Z
.R.
# A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U
V W X Y Z
Raoul's Velvet Room
7222 W 119th St, Shawnee Mission, Kan.
913-469-0466
119th and Metcalf, in Rosana Square
Be careful. Just because it's dark out and you see lots of people going in doesn't mean
there is anything going on here at all. In fact, it's totally dullsville UNTIL 10 p.m. or
so, when the D.J. comes on, and Disco Dick and the Mirror Balls start jammin'. That gets
the Johnson County zombies up and out of their velvet booths.
The Record Bar
(formerly Molloy Brothers)
1020 Westport Road, Kansas City, Mo.
If you're really, really into music, especially the local music scene, don't miss your
chance to hit this place before it turns into something else. It still looks about the
same as Molloy Brothers, with some new décor on the walls and better bands playing just
about every night. They also serve food, although it's dead until about 10 or so. And
while you may spot some people who are actually important in Kansas City's local music
scene hanging out here, they are far outnumbered by the 19-year-old posers with too-tight
70s-style shirts and ridiculous hair. When we asked the bartender what the ratio of CO2 to
nitrogen was in the tap beer he regaled us with his knowledge and finesse: "I don't
know and I if I don't know it, it ain't worth knowin'."
The Red Balloon
10325 W 75th St Overland Park, Kan.
913-962-2330
The first time I stepped into The Red Balloon, I didn't know what to say. So I sang
instead. One of Kansas City's only bars exclusively dedicated to karaoke seven days a
week. If you hate bar fights, oversized quantities of light beer, and... karaoke,
don't even think about putting a foot inside this place.
[FULL REVIEW]
River Aces
1800 Swift Avenue, Kansas City, Mo.
816-421-9900
Go in the middle of the afternoon and the best you can hope for is a conversation
with a 58-year-old barfly about how to make reindeer ornaments out of doilies. Go at
night, and the place is packed and rockin' with live DJs and any kind of music you want.
Nicely racially mixed crowd and decent beer prices. Bring your own water, though, they
charge $3 a bottle if you get dehydrated.
River Market Brewing Company
500 Walnut St Kansas City, Mo.
816-471-6300
The beer's pretty good, the food's mediocre, and my waitress didn't have any boobies.
Nice atmosphere, roomy, usually full of people in nice work clothes, which tends to make
me nervous.
Rum Runners (or whatever it's called now)
5240 Merriam Dr., Merriam, Kan.
913-384-2659
Previously "Reike's Landing," this place is among the cheesiest of cheesy dives,
although far bigger than most dives, with multiple rooms and dancing (when there are
actually people there). It used to be a swingers' club, and looks like a cross between
your older brother's friend's basement apartment circa 1975 and your pothead unemployed
uncle's garage/rumpus room circa 1983. Dress tacky if you want to fit in.
.S.
# A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Scoreboards
9596 Quivira, Shawnee Mission, Kan.
913-492-5322
Now this bar was a pleasant surprise. Some friends opted to spend our Friday night bender
here, and the name alone made me want to put a fork in my eye. It immediately summoned
images of annoying JoCo snobs and an endless sea of pool tables. INSTEAD, Scoreboards is a
nice, dark somewhat divey bar with good food and big cheap beers. The wait staff was very
attentive and tolerant of our drunken idiocy. There was karaoke the Friday we were there,
and it was the good kind - fun drunk karaoke, none of this "serious wannabe the next
country western American Idol" crap.
Shooter's Inc
4108 North Oak Trafficway, Kansas City, Mo.
816-454-7650
Lots of pool tables. Lots of mullets. Constant drink specials that don't amount to
crap, but hey, if you're hustling the one-armed man, you're bound to lose anyway.
Sidekicks Saloon (next to Buddies Lounge)
3715 Main, Kansas City, Mo.
Who doesn't like a drunk bunch of gay cowboys? If you're a man, expect a lot of ass
grabbing. If you're a woman, expect to be pleasantly ignored. This bar was surprisingly
large, clean and very nice. We had a good time - the Beer Bust they had going the Friday
night we were there was well worth the six bucks (for all you can drink domestics). The
drag show is a lot of fun. One night one of the performers looked like a 50-year-old Kelly
Clarkson after a long battle with Twinkies and Popov vodka, but we must keep in mind this
IS Kansas City, honey. Some of the other performers, however, will make you CRACK,
sweetheart.
.T.
# A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Thomas (piano bar)
39th & Bell (across the street from D.B. Cooper's)
It's kind of swanky, but they have really interesting drink choices, nice personnel
and .... the guy that plays piano. It's a request-type piano bar and he'll play you
anything from Snoop Dog to Sound of Music. If you're really drunk and get up there to sing
along, they won't even kick you out. Bring your own party and you'll have a good time.
Tomfooleries Restaurant & Bar
612 West 47th Street, Kansas City, Mo.
816-753-0555
This BARELY counts as a bar, it's really a restaurant with a bar, but it's the least
obnoxious thing on the plaza, and the food is pretty good. Unfortunately, if you order
something and specify "no fruit," your waiter might not come back. Try the fried
pickles. Yeah, fried pickles!
Currently leasing
Tizer's
Mill Creek
4050 Pennsylvania Avenue Kansas City, Mo.
This is a prime spot in Westport. Although Mill Creek certainly outlasted Tizer's
(how long did they last? Less that one year!), we the drinkers of Westport want, neigh,
DESERVE, a decent watering hole worthy of our cash and vomit. Being next to Kelly's, and
across from Harry's, McCoy's and Buzzard Beach, how can you go wrong? On the other hand,
how can you compete?
Tootsie's
2853 Southwest Boulevard, Kansas City, Mo.
816-753-9478
If the DB is the quintessential gay bar, Tootsies is its female lesbian counterpart.
I used to go there when I was in high school and act like I was a lost kid from the 'burbs
who just happened upon one kick-ass ladies' night. (Write-up courtesy of Eduardo C.)
Twin City Tavern Bar & Grill
1815 Westport Rd Kansas City, Mo.
816-753-5956
This is a regular hotspot for on Saturday afternoons for a couple reasons: great
cheap food, $1 domestic draws, and where else could you meet a sixty year old claiming to
be the "fastest man in Oklahoma" or a guy proclaiming that he used to be Nick
"the kick" Lowry's coke buddy? The place has character written all over it.
(thanks to Matt M.)
.U.
# A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U
V W X Y Z
.V.
# A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y
Z
Velvet Dog
400 East 31st Street, Kansas City, Mo.
816-753-9990
One of the hippest looking bars in KC, the Dog is a visual treat for the eyes.
Remember to bring your own crowd, because it's the only way to have a party in this trendy
joint. And don't forget to wear all black, not goth black, just lots of black, you'll
stand out if you don't. I give Velvet Dog 3rd place in my martini ranking. This used to be
a super cool, low key place but then it blew up, and now, if you go there on a weekend, it
looks like someone took a plane-load of L.A.s finest nightcrawlers and dumped them inside.
Way too much Maxim Hair Color going on.
Vivace
(Next door to Harry's Country Club)
Maybe you have heard of the intriguing "ICE BAR" here? More like a snooty
restaurant with a very small portion of the bar that has ice on it. It was really just a
little too scary inside to explore. A great classy joint if you want to get laid, just not
the kind of spot to belly up to the bar and do shots. Who wants to freeze their nipples
off that way anyway? WARNING: EXPENSIVE.
.W.
# A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
W.J. McBride's
1340 Village West Pkwy Kansas City, Kan.
913-788-7771
This is an O'Dowds for Plaza-phobes. A little less character, and no chance of striking up
convo with Tim Grunhard in the pisser, also a patio in lieu of a deck, but the same tasty
Irish concoctions at emergency-ATM-run prices. Strong drinks create a fertile atmosphere
for picking up Blue Valley divorcees, and the private booths will shelter your
Guinness-numbed ass from further humiliation. Bring friends. (special thanks to
"g")
Waldo Bar
7438 Wornall Road, Kansas City, Mo.
816-523-9964
It's small, it's a little dirty, and for a lot of regulars, it's just not the same
without 'Scary Mary' - one of KC's more infamous bartenders. She nearly cut me off once,
not for over-drinking, but because "huh uh, honey... you drank that last pitcher too
slow!" When some guy popped the cue ball on the table, she came running from behind
the bar with a hearty "Hey, you want me to pop your balls on the table like that?
Then don't do that to mine!" That's when I knew Waldo would be one of my regular
bars. (Special thanks to Scientist Ken)
Westport Beach Club
4050 Pennsylvania Ave Kansas City, Mo.
816-931-2224
A terrible winter hot spot. The summer is another story. Drunks playing
volley ball in swimming attire and the KC Jazz Women's Rugby Team mud wrestling -
priceless!
Westport Flea Market
817 Westport Road, Kansas City, Mo.
816-931-1986
Good fun (including darts and pinball), good food, and if for any reason you’ve been
wanting to drop acid and don’t have the money or the connections, stare really hard
at the flea market booth contents. You’ll get much the same tripped-out effect. Rumor
has it they are going to replace it with a Hooters. What a waste!
.X.
# A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
.Y.
# A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y
Z
Your Dad's Trailer
He's got the best damn feather boa collection I've ever seen. He also has Erasure re-mixes
you can't find ANYWHERE. He's fabulous, and everyone loves his Queer Eye marathon parties.
Bottomless Cosmopolitans for everyone! CASH ONLY
Your Mom’s House
She broke out the Prince albums and started talking naughty. What can I say? CASH ONLY.
.Z.
# A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
